There is vast amount of Narcissism/Sociopath activity within Religious Organsiations, I know personally of so many people that have suffered in the name of Religion, many that have been Spiritually Abused by Narcissistic Parents, Husbands and Wives outwardly appearing Christian but interpereting what is taught at their will to serve the malicious abuse on their Spouses, of Clergy and Ministers of Churches, the numbers are really phenomenal. The Narcissist/Sociopath particularly gravitates towards these kinds of institutions, they provide the perfect ‘cover’ to hide who they truly are underneath and the prey is easy, most of whom, in God’s name are very forgiving empaths with no personal boundaries.
I too had personal experience of this phenomenon with the n/s that I married, he wasn’t at all Christian throughout the marriage abusing the fact that I was, provoking and belittling anything I believed in. When we split I became the Devil itself and he became a ‘respected’ Christian, citing scriptures to manipulate and instill guilt in myself and my children, he demanded my ‘repentance’, that I ‘obey’ as a Christian wife should, and much more. I was slandered so horrendously in the community, I was the adulteress, he had found the most shaming for a married woman in the church ‘sin’ that he could falsely accuse me of, in reality he was projecting himself. At times he even talked as God himself, only he had permission forgive sins, I was destined for a horrendous end in hell which he would describe in every detail.
Others in my area attached to other Churches were of the same breed, using it as a Public facade but in private acting abusively as Narcissist Sociopaths do, Sadly the Priest that I had known for years and that had married me turned out to be the same, the mask finally fell a little while after joining Melanie Tonia Evans Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Programme. If I am honest I had been on the receiving end of some outbursts of what I now know to be Narcissistic Injury, the arrogance and self-importance had shown through from time to time, the underhand remarks about how others had slighted him, the sudden outbursts of anger not knowing what I had done, things hadn’t matched up – but who was I to question his authority, I just forgave him for his, as I presumed, ‘human’ qualities showing through from time to time. I lost the Godparents to my children too for the same reason.
Having been at Sunday School since the age of 4 I had been perfect fodder for my non-religious Narcissistic mother, she had ensured that I had no personal boundaries, as had the teachings. Sunday School did not teach boundaries, they presumed that we all had parents that would ensure our balanced upbringing, they hadn’t considered that many of the children that were under their wing were being abused at home by the very things that they were taught. Love everyone regardless of what they do, forgive everyone regardless of what they do to you, Honour your mother and father and so on and so on. The guilt would gnaw away if I had a disrespectful thought for my parents, suffering just as Jesus suffered was a virtue – it was to be endured, I must have been very bad and it was God’s way of punishing me.
Religious organisations have been slow to recognise this problem, very often husbands and wives are advised in the name of God to work things out, to forgive, even though many spouses have been living under the horrifying abuse, which continues despite the mediation for the ‘saving’ of their marriage. Narcissist/Sociopath spouses are forced to ‘endure’ further abuse, they are then triangulated by the Religious Adviser, and slandered in the community without their knowledge. Shunned, shamed, and blamed. Divorce is not an option in some Religious organisations, the women or men involved with the Narcissist/Sociopath have no exit, the guilt and the shame they are made to carry should they decide to separate from the abusing spouse is immeasurable. Most clerics have no knowledge of Sociopaths, it took me personally years to understand what was happening to me and who I had opposite me, how are they supposed to understand when the n/s puts on his/her politest charm whilst in their presence, they feign humility, tears of remorse, they feign piety
I too believed that marriage was forever, I didn’t realise that being in an abusive relationship was cause for Divorce, I tried to make it right over and over again believing in the ‘sanctity of marriage’, in truth I had sold my own Soul, it was extremely difficult being Christian at times when I had been provoked into a reaction with the most henous of accusations and comments about myself and my family, my friends, in fact anything that was attached to my being and my Soul, or Holy. Sexual abuse is particularly rampant in Christian/Narcissist-Sociopath relationships.
Many abused by the Sociopath end up losing everything, including their faith and the community that came with that faith. It is difficult if I occasionally go to church these days for the words of the Narcissist are repeated back at me from the Service or the pulpit, I try to overcome it by ascending to a higher level than mere words but it is not always easy. Spirituality and Love have now taken for the best part the part of Church, a place that for the time being the Sociopath has not managed to infiltrate and pollute. It is a place I feel the most exhilarating connection with God, I feel love, I feel safety, I learnt to love me too as God wants me too, there is no place for contamination, no place for a third person to intervene, it is between Him (I say Him for a lack of a better word) and I, a continual evolving relationship based on trust.
Awareness is the only way that these things will change, I let go and let God along with all of the thousands of others that have found themselves in similar situations. Learn to recognise the traits and behaviours, learn to recognise your gut instinct when it tells you something is not quite right. Listen to the truth within your Inner Being, truth does not lie in what your ears and eyes tell you, try to recognise and believe the ‘true’ victims, the gratitude for them will be immense for having a human being they can believe and trust in, and for having a human being that can validate and support them through the ‘incomprehensible’ ordeal that they are going through. A religious person finds it incredibly difficult to believe that these unconscious people full of darkness exist, but they do, in great numbers!
Press the link below to hear this amazing woman’s talk on Narcissist/Sociopath and Christian teamed together, her book comes out in 2016. For those that do not have much understanding Shannon Thomas really sheds the light!
Click here for free information on Melanie Tonia Evans Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Programme: https://www.secureinfossl.com/…/Narcissistic-Abuse-Re…/91342
This is a really good article that Melanie wrote with regard to Spirituality and Religion http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/articles/religion-spirituality.htm